It’s your favorite time of the week, time for “Dear Skylar”.     As we get ready to to start thinking about the holidays, I hope you are taking time to be good to yourself.   You have one life, so love, live and be kinkalicious whenever you can!

Before we delve into to this weeks questions, remember you can submit your own question by clicking here.    

I answer questions every Friday.   So here we go…

Question 1

Dear Skylar, My wife likes to lie on her belly and masturbate while having me lick her asshole. Do you think she’s seeing me as less of a man?

Signed, the Ass Licker

Answer: 

Dear Ass Licker,  my immediate response was, “YES.”   But I feel I should delve into this answer a bit.   The truth is, I happen to know the back story on this and though our readers don’t, I know from our many calls that you have become a true submissive and no longer enjoy getting to have sex with your wife. Your journey has been slow and steady as new experiences have been introduced.   I think you know the answer to the question but seek the reassurance.  No, Ass Licker,  she does NOT  see you as a husband or real man anymore and has not for sometime.   Your relationship has morphed into something very different and will never return to what it was.   Embrace the here and now, and serve her in every way you can.   You will continue to find satisfaction in new experiences that make you feel like the beta bitch you are and remind you of your true calling.

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Question 2

Dear Skylar, I am having some serious relationship problems and need your advice! My boyfriend and I have been together for almost three years now, and while he is super sweet and I enjoy spending time with him, the sex is…well, almost non-existent. He almost never wants to play, and I need it daily at least (what can I say, I love the cock lol). I’ve tried talking to him about this and it always leads to fights or promises it will “get better.” I don’t want to break up with him, but I have found myself talking to men on Grindr and FetLife and feel like it’s just a matter of time before I cheat. What should I do? Please help!

Signed,  I Want to be Good.

Answer:

Dear “I want to be Good,”  this is an issue that happens between couples be it  in guy-guy or guy-girl  or girl-girl relationships.   One partner doesn’t have that same drive for sex and it can create a huge gap in the relationship.    The partner who is shut down has a hard time discussing the issue.   Some of the things I am about to suggest, you may already know, or have tried, but I am putting it all out there to see what resonates for you.

It’s important that the partner not be put on the defense.  Sometimes they end up feeling like they are the bad guy because they don’t want the same things sexually.    So approach is everything.   Yes these conversations are not easy, but they have to happen.

The issue could be physical and talking to a doctor is definitely something for your partner to consider.  There could be something physical that is impeding the sex drive.   If everything checks out, you may want to consider talking to a counselor about the situation. Stress can also impact your sex life, or insecurities, there are many root causes to why he’s shutting down sexually.   Having a third party opinion from someone who is trained to deal with issues like this could be a game changer.

You clearly love him and want a physical side to your relationship, and the key is figuring out what will work for you both.   Cheating will make you feel horrible, so that is not a road to take.   You also don’t want to force the issue and get “guilt sex” from him either.  If the two of you are in this for the long haul, discussions have to happen and options presented.

I know some couple opt for open relationships, but that requires a lot of conversation and setting up boundaries.

I know this is not an easy situation, but I have faith if the the two of you keep communicating, it’s a situation you can resolve.  Let him know you want to figure out together and come out on the other side closer and with a resolution.

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Question 3

Dear Skylar, I want to train my wife to be a dominant, how do I do that?

Signed,  I want a Domme Wife

Answer

Oh Dear “I want a Domme Wife,”   first things first, sharing your needs and kinks with your wife is a positive thing.   Communication is key in any healthy relationship.  You should tell her what you are interested in BUT you must realize she may not be interested in Dominating you.

I am a big believer that being Dominant or submissive is something that is within someone’s DNA.  It’s either there or not.

Now, if she is, the two of you can do plenty of research on the internet on Dominant-submissive relationships.  You will also find some great information on some of the LDW blogs like www.dominationbootcamp.com  It could end up being a brand new chapter for the two of you involving lots of exciting exploration.

If she is NOT interested in that, you must realize, nothing you say or do will change her mind.  Not every woman out there wants to Dominate a man. (Hell that’s part of why we are in business! So we do the dominating).

I applaud you for taking the initiative and wanting to share with your wife, but it’s important you realize if she is not into it, you will have to accept that luv.

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