So, you want to know how  submit to a Dominant woman.  For our purposes here, I am focusing on tips for in person submission.  Like any successful relationship, it takes time and effort.  Be patient, be diligent.


Understanding Your Submission First


Something brought you to the realization that you are submissive BUT that is a broad term that can mean many things.  Lots of exciting things, but what submissives are into is as vast as the stars in the sky.  Some might be into : submission in the bedroom only,  submission out of the bedroom, enjoy chastity cages and denial, want to suck cock, or  love edging.  Some want to be a Sissy Submissives, some want to be spanked, tied up, or humiliated.  And still others are service driven and want to be used for tasks.

Before you can seek a dominant Goddess to connect with, you have to understand a bit about your own submission.  Of course  on your journey with a dominant woman you will learn about about your submission but you have to have a starting point.   You may not have all the answers yet, but you need a baseline.  If your Dominant Goddess is into pegging, or bondage, and you are not, you may not be a good fit.  Once you know what kind of submissive you are, you can start looking for your Dominant.


How To Submit to a Dominant Woman : Finding a Domme


Like any search, you have to put the effort in.  A good starting point is finding online websites that cater to BDSM lifestyles.  A simple google search with help you find them.  It’s important to represent yourself when you make a profile on a site.  Here is the million dollar advice, “Take the time to show that your search is import to you.”    You don’t have to post a pic, but DO write about yourself, give a potential Domme a glimpse of who you are and what you seek.  The more specific you can be, the better.

When you decide to reach out to Dominant woman, be sure and make it about her.  If you are opening with your list of kinks, trust me, she will be immediately turned off.  Instead read her bio, and find where you share something in common.  Perhaps you are both seeking a FLR (Female Lead Relationship), that’s a great point of connection.   Things you may want to talk about initially are power dynamics, what submission means to you, and how you are looking to be trained by a like minded Domme.

Don’t take it personally if she doesn’t respond, Dommes get tons of messages and it takes time to sort through them all.  If she doesn’t respond at all, then the message is, she doesn’t  think you are a fit.


How To Submit to a Dominant Woman :  BDSM Relationships

No two BDSM relationships will ever look the same.  Together you must discover the dynamic that can thrive for the both of you, BUT always give your Domme the respect of allowing her to lead even when it involves trial and error.  . Whether you are in a Female Led Relationship, a more casual submissive training dynamic or even if it’s about straight up learning how best you can serve your Domme.   Take the time to learn what she expects from you.  It will be important that hard limits are discussed in the beginning, so she knows what is off the table for you. BUT beware, some Dommes enjoy pushing your boundaries, and it’s possible you will end up enjoying it to!  Surrendering your power to your Domme can be one of the most satisfying experiences of your life.


Tips for Submitting to a Dominant Woman:


  1. Be sure and communicate honestly about your desires and hard limits.  Be an open book for your Domme.
  2. Respect her authority and strive to always follow her instructions.  Ask questions if they are not clear.
  3. When you relinquish control, embrace your vulnerability.
  4. Find ways to show your dedication and loyalty through acts of service.  Both those requested and those you bring to the table on your own accord.  Start to anticipate her needs.
  5. It’s critical to prioritize her pleasure over your own.  Remember if she allows you release, it is a privilege, not a necessity in her eyes.
  6. When punishment is issued, take it with grace and understanding that it is for your betterment, and possibly her entertainment.
  7.  Embrace the way she dominates you and never compare her style to any other Domme.
  8. Learn how she wants her submissive to present himself.  Does she want a CFNM dynamic?  In a chastity cage? What should be shaved?  Become familiar with all her preferences.
  9. Be open to trying new things and having new experiences.
  10. Understand the more time you spend together, the more exciting and successful your dynamic will be.

Follow my blog for more great tips on all things BDSM!

Your Kink Advisor,

Goddess Skylar



Skype:  Skylar Sinclair